Oil Traders Beat the Crap Out of Protesters

From nicedoggie.net:

Eeeeeeeevil Oil Barons™- 1, Socialist Shitstain Idiotarians- 0

BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Breathe* BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Must........ breathe.....* BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Hurts......... so....... badly....*

You may be wondering *Woooo-hooo-hooo* what has managed to bring the Imperial Game Room™ *snort* to its collective knees in uncontrollable merriment & spasms of laughter. *heheheheheh* Well, in answer to what Enquiring Minds™ are wanting to know, *chortle* LC Phnx started us laughing at this Karmic Retribution™ that will certainly be enshrined within the Hallowed Walls of the Imperial ClueClubbing™ Hall of Fame. Between fits of laughing and crying, we just HAD to give it our 2 Imperial Drachmas worth. Hell, even the headline gives us a chuckle.

Kyoto protest beaten back by inflamed petrol traders

Nothing beats "inflamed petrol traders" for beating back a flock of patchouli oil-covered fleabags, is there? Unless, of course, we're talking about "flaming petrol" being used. That would add to Global Worming™ and would be considered, at least among of Eeeeeeevil Konservatives™, as A Very Good Thing™ heaped upon an already Good Thing™.

WHEN 35 Greenpeace protesters stormed the International Petroleum Exchange (IPE) yesterday they had planned the operation in great detail.

But, as you'll soon see, their "plan" failed almost as miserably as Mickey Mooron dressing up in a fishnet T-back micro bikini and doing a tapioca pudding-covered pole dance in an attempt to arouse an all-female audience of Mormons...

What they were not prepared for was the post-prandial aggression of oil traders who kicked and punched them back on to the pavement.

BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That brings to mind the famous mythical last quote of Gen. George Armstrong Custer: "Where'd all these fuckin' Indians come from?!!!" (Note to the Drooling Dolts of DUh: That's what we refer to as a "joke". It was, in no way, intended as a slight towards Native Americans. Thankyouverymuch.)

“We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”

That's what happens when people, who've eaten a few too many purple ringers, think that their "point of view" should be listened to, just because they know how to hold Shit 'n' Puke Fests™ and illegally disrupt other people's lives, all the while blocking out anyone else's "point of view" that might challenge their unprovable theory of Man-made Global Worming™. (You DO remember all of those Ice Age SUV's of Doom™ that were responsible for melting the glaciers that were milling about aimlessly and smoking little Ice Cigarettes™ around Manhattan Island, don't you?)

Another said: “I took on a Texan Swat team at Esso last year and they were angels compared with this lot.” ...

We're quite sure that you didn't "take on a Texan Swat team" in any manner resembling the bullshit bravado with which that statement was so obviously made, you mewling mulch muncher.

...Behind him, on the balcony of the pub opposite the IPE, a bleary-eyed trader, pint in hand, yelled: “Sod off, Swampy.”

Heheheheheh........ Brit insults can be so very concise, yet so very refreshingly poignant, can't
they? Spot on, mate!

Greenpeace had hoped to paralyse oil trading at the exchange in the City near Tower Bridge on the day that the Kyoto Protocol came into force. ...

And thus causing even more people to lose their jobs, due to disruptions in the production/distribution/consumption chain that these cretinous microcephalics so utterly failed to grasp the concept of whilst huffing model airplane glue, instead of actually attending classes in Economics 101.

...“The Kyoto Protocol has modest aims to improve the climate and we need huge aims,” a spokesman said.

We've got plenty of "aim" over here. If you fucknozzles weren't so obscured by the Fog of Idiocy™ that surrounds you, we'd be able to take a clear shot and end your miserable existences. Remember, it'd be For The Children™. Consider it a long-overdue post-natal abortion. We ARE Pro-Choice™ in that matter. Just "choose" which caliber you want delivered. We're all about "choice".

Protesters conceded that mounting the operation after lunch may not have been the best plan.

BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Stop it already!!! Yer killin' us!!!

“The violence was instant,” Jon Beresford, 39, an electrical engineer from Nottingham, said.

Instant ClueClubbing™! "Imparting Clue in a Third the Time!™"
There's so much more, but you'll have to go read the rest for yourselves. We have to go see a thoracic specialist about these ribs. *Heheheheheh... Owwwwwww!*