With thanks to filkertom...
I am the very model of a right-wing intellectual,
My arguments are pedantic, ill-advised, and ineffectual,
I set up straw men, knock them down, declare myself too smart by half,
And contradict myself at least in every other paragraph;
I take a condescending tone, as if to teach a stubborn child,
I really want to soothe the rabble, keep them docile, keep them mild,
I play at being common man, though strictly of the ruling class,
And can't unravel why I'm called a who-d'you-think-you're-fooling ass.
I dare not ask a question of Dear Leader and his underlings,
They've promised that at some point I'll receive some minor Mordor rings,
So, to the hem of power I cling, and let things go to Heck I will,
In short, the very model of a right-wing intellectual!
---
Chimpy.
Oh, better far to be a jerk
And complain my job is such hard work,
Than talk of problems that we've shared,
And act as if I really cared.
Away to the mundane world go you,
Where having three jobs is better than two;
But I’ll do better than Dad, the wimp,
And live and die a Pirate Chimp.
For I am a Pirate Chimp!
A lying, cheating, bone-stupid imp,
That's me, the Pirate Chimp!
I am a Pirate Chimp!
Chorus.
You are!
Hurrah for our Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy.
A cheerleader, not a commie symp,
That's me, the Pirate Chimp.
Chorus.
He is!
Hurrah for our Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy & Chorus.
Hurrah for the/our Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy.
When I give a speech, my handlers quake,
Ready to correct the least mistake.
I break a few more laws, it’s true,
Than a legal monarch ought to do;
But the problem with democracy
Is it impedes aristocracy,
My circle must stay well-to-do,
How else can we keep from being like you?
For I am a Pirate Chimp!
And for food and health care I won't scrimp,
That's me, the Pirate Chimp!
I am a Pirate Chimp!
Chorus.
You are!
Hurrah for the Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy.
Now bend over and take it till I'm limp,
'Cause I'm the Pirate Chimp.
Chorus.
He is!
Hurrah for our Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy & Chorus.
Hurrah for the/our Pirate Chimp!
3 comments:
Funny, but lame.
Actually, it's the liberals who seem to have this intellectual superiority complex - witness that they invariably believe that the government has to make decisions for you because you're too dumb | disadvantaged | misinformed (choose one).
And it almost always appears that it's the right who's far more tolerant of the left than vice-versa...there are exceptions, but not many.
Exceptions like this, perhaps?
We don't know if that's a right-wing judge (probably religious though). And judges are known for some pretty weird rulings overall and I'm not sure this is a tolerance issue.
Also, I smell something here. Notice that the prohibition is part of a divorce decree? I'm gonna see if the petition is on public record. If so, I'll start a new thread. Should be interesting.
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