Newsweek Reports Star Wars Episode III Script Flushed Down Toilet

From www.imao.us. Very funny (although the original story blows chunks).

Newsweek Reports Star Wars Episode III Script Flushed Down Toilet - Widespread Riots Ensue

According to perfectly reliable news magazine Newsweek's anonymous source, pathetic basement-dwelling geeks around the world are pouring into the streets to protest the deliberate flushing of a Star Wars Episode III script.

One geeky loser was quoted as saying "To desecrate one copy of the Sacred Script is to desecrate the entire Star Wars mythos! They will pay with blood"

Other nerds expressed their outrage by rioting at a nearby Star Trek convention, shouting such slogans as "Star Wars is the one true Space Saga!", "There is no Star but Star Wars!", "Death to Federation Infidels", and "Jedi Akbar!" while pummeling helpless Trekkies with plastic light sabers.

George Lucas, speaking from his Millenium-Falcon-shaped mansion in Beverly Hills, declared his outrage over the incident. "My wrath will descend as flame from the Heavens to smite the unbelievers! They will be made to suffer the tortures of insipid CGI characters! I will bring forth Episodes VII, VIII, and IX to roast their stomachs in Hell! "Jar-Jar Returns"! "Bride of Jar-Jar"! "Son of Jar-Jar"! There will be a Jar-Jar Holiday Special starring Harvey Korman and Bea Arthur! Yousa will worships da Jar-Jar!"

John Welch, who was accused of doing the flushing in the Newsweek article, responded with a confused look upon hearing the news. "What I said was that Episode III was a turd of a movie and OUGHT to be flushed down the toilet. Man, those dweebs can't get ANYTHING right. No wonder they've never kissed a non-inflatable girl."